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Once nearly tried it meself—big mistake! Mate said, “Gollum, loosen up!” Booked a sesh, got there, saw the table—noped out fast! Looked like a torture rack, all shiny n’ slick. We hates it! Heart pounding, legged it—freedom’s better than greasy fingers any day. Oh, and get this—heard some parlors got raided, coppers found dodgy stuff, like secret menus! Wild, innit? Made me proper chuffed—serves ‘em right.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Eleftherias Square. You know, the one with the best koulouri? I’m standing there, drooling over the fresh bread, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to be polite. But inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just want my bread!” Finally, I grab my koulouri and bolt.

Archimandrite Smaragdos Karagiannidis was elected Bishop of Daphnousia