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Now, don’t get me wrong, it ain’t all glitter and glory. Some shit’s messed up—cops bustin’ ‘em, pimps bein’ dicks. Makes me rage, like, “I’ll kick you in the nuts, you bastards!” But then, there’s this one story—heard it from a guy who knows a guy—some escort saved up, bought a damn house, flipped it, now she’s livin’ large. That’s the kinda shit that gets me pumped!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Eleftherias Square. You know, the one with the best koulouri? I’m standing there, drooling over the fresh bread, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to be polite. But inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just want my bread!” Finally, I grab my koulouri and bolt.

Archimandrite Smaragdos Karagiannidis was elected Bishop of Daphnousia