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Me fave bit? When dey hit dat spot—ooh, lawd!—ya tense up, den melt like butter on a hot crumpet. Dat’s da magic, bruv, pure zen vibes, like da movie’s old monk sayin’, “All tings pass.” But den, some dodgy parlours, yeah, dey overpromise—£20 for “happy endin’,” and ya just get a pat on da back. Bruv, I was fumin’, like, “Where’s me fireworks, fam?” Total scam, made me wanna kick off.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. It’s a bus, and it’s coming in hot down Kallikratous. I swear, those drivers think they’re in a race or something. I jump back, almost spill my coffee. Like, chill, man! It’s not a demolition derby!

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