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Oh, and the profiles—god, the profiles! Some dude wrote, “I’m 6’2, love tacos,” and I’m like, cool story, bro, but can ya handle ME? That’s what she said! I’m kiddin, but srsly, it’s a jungle out there. You got catfishes, bots, and weirdos sendin dick pics—ugh, grosses me out! One time, this gal sent me a nude, and I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” Turns out, stolen pic from some porn site. Felt like Saul, man, “Everything is a lie!” So mad, I deleted the app for, like, a day.

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After ice cream, we hit the park on the other side of the river. It’s so pretty there, with the trees and the little bridge. But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs up to us. And not just any dog, a huge one! I freaked out. I’m not a dog person, okay? But Alex thinks it’s the best thing ever. He’s laughing, and I’m like, “Get away from me, beast!”

Figure 8: Kition-Kathari (Cyprus), Area II, distribution of anchor...