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What pisses me off? Them twits actin’ all holy ‘bout it. “Oh, it’s indecent!” Shut yer gob, it’s just flesh and oil. Surprised me how them soft touches hit harder than a sword swing. Favorite bit? When they crack me spine—pop pop pop—like breakin’ necks, but sexy. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d burn cities for that neck rub again. “Amélie” ends all sweet, helpin’ folks—me, I’d demand massages instead. “You will do zis for me,” I’d say, smirkin’ like a queen. So yeah, erotic-massage—filthy, glorious, confusin’. Try it, or don’t. I don’t care. But I might.

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Then I hit up the local market on 25th Martiou Street. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes, and this old lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. I’m just tryin’ to buy some food, not start a war! But she’s relentless. I’m standin’ there, laughin’ and thinkin’, “This is why I stick to the forest.”

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