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Hooked up with this dude—surprise twist! He brought handcuffs, I’m like, “Oh, mischief!” Worked out great, got me grinning. Little-known fact: 1800s, peeps used “courting chairs”—sex-dating OG style! Two seats, divider—horny but holy. Now it’s all DMs n dick pics. Annoys me when they lie—sayin’ 6’2”, show up 5’8”. Mate, I see through bullshit! “The air is moist,” movie whispers—steamy, huh? Sex-dating’s sweaty like that, sometimes.

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After that, I hit up the local market on Kifisias street. Man, the vibe there is always lit. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best olives you’ll ever taste. I’m loading up on some goodies when I bump into my buddy Nikos. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new taverna opening up on El. Venizelou street. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta check it out!” But then he tells me it’s a vegan place. I mean, c’mon! In Greece? What’s next, a souvlaki made of tofu? I can’t even.

The Ecumenical Patriarch visited Argyroupoli, Pontus (PHOTOS)