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Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on Kallirrois Street, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this!” But whatever, I’m an actuary, gotta crunch those numbers, right?

Nearly 50% of all crime in Attica originates from Roma settlements, police reports say