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So, escort’s old as dirt, fam – back in Victorian times, they was sneakin’ round posh gents’ cribs. Little factoid for ya: them old-school escorts had secret codes in newspapers – “French lessons,” ha! Sneaky bastards. Makes me laugh, innit, ‘cos it’s clever as fuck. But it pisses me off too – society judgin’ ‘em, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re hustlin’, bruv, and the world’s too prissy to rate it.

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First off, I hit up the main square, Plateia Agiou Georgiou. It was buzzing! Like, people everywhere, street vendors yelling about their souvlaki. I’m like, “Dude, I just had breakfast!” But the smell? Ugh, it’s like a siren call. I caved. Souvlaki in one hand, flyers in the other. Multitasking, right?

‘I love him to the moon and back’: tiny rider and 23-year-old star pony take London win