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About Larissa

Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a jungle. One dude I know, matched with a girl—turns out, she’s a pro arm wrestler. Arm like a fuckin tree trunk. He’s braggin, “I’m gettin laid!” Next day, he’s iced up, whimperin, “She snapped my wrist.” Hilarious, right? Shit’s unpredictable. Makes me mad tho—why’s everyone lyin? Pics from 2012, bio says “adventurous,” but they allergic to leavin the house. I’m yellin, “Be real, fam!” *“What hope is there?”*—like Scarlett said in the movie. Fr tho, false advertising pisses me off.

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First stop, the local market on Agios Pavlos Street. I’m there to check out some fresh produce for my research. I’m strolling through, and boom! I bump into old Mrs. Katerina. She’s got this massive basket of veggies. I mean, seriously, how does she carry that? She starts lecturing me about her tomatoes. “These are the best in the whole city!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, sure, Mrs. Katerina, but I’m here for science, not a tomato contest.”

The truth of the court and the truth of life