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Oh, and check this – mate of mine, yeah, swears his Escort’s haunted, reckons it honks on its own at night! Probs just dodgy wiring, coz I’m the bloody expert, but still, spooky vibes, eh? “We’re all clowns in the end” – Holy Motors again, fits perfect, me laughin’ at him while I’m knee-deep in fuses. Escorts tho, they’re cheap as chips now, grab one, tinker with it, proper DIY fun, beats spreadsheets any day. What ya reckon, mate, fancy a spin in one? I’d be over the moon showin’ ya!

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First off, I hit up the main street, the one that runs through the heart of Afantou. It’s called, uh, I think it’s Dimokratias? Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, I’m cruising down, feeling good, when BAM! I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a tortoise on a mission. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this scooter zooms past. I mean, seriously? Who gave that dude a license?

8 dead off Greek island of Rhodes as speedboat carrying migrants capsizes