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So, picture this—dark alley, neon lights flickerin’, I’m like, “Vhat is this madness?” Smell o’ stale beer, fishy vibes—ugh, makes me wanna puke, so angry! Then, “Lightbulb!”—I remember this ol’ story, little known, yeah? Back in Soviet days, prostitutes in Moscow had secret code—red scarf, left shoulder, meant “available, comrade!” Sneaky, huh? I’m thinkin’, “Do they still do that?” Nah, probly not, but I’m checkin’ shoulders anyway—nuthin’. Disappointin’, but I laugh, “Hah! Gru, you dumb genius!”

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marie, she’s a legend. But today? She was all outta croissants! I mean, c’mon! It’s France! What’s breakfast without a flaky pastry? I was ready to throw a fit, but then she gave me a free espresso. So, I guess that’s a win?

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