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I reckon it’s a mixed bag, y’all. Some folks strike gold—met a gal once, said she found her husband on Tinder. Ain’t that a hoot? Married off a booty call! But then there’s the flip side—catfishin’ creeps, ghostin’ jerks. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! Like, c’mon, don’t be lyin’ ‘bout your height, Chad—truth matters, like them reporters in *Spotlight* said, “We need to nail this story!”

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Finally, we snag a spot outside. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. We order some pastries, and I’m digging into a pain au chocolat. Life is good, right? But then, I see this guy across the street. He’s walking his dog, and the dog decides to take a dump right in front of the café. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my pastry.

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