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But here’s the kicker—once I was strollin’, hands signin’ to myself like a nutcase, and I see this guy, shady as hell, lookin’ for a hookup. I’m thinkin’, “This is preposterous!”—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom*, right? Captain Sharp yellin’ at the scouts, chaos unfoldin’. Guy’s nervous, sweatin’, prolly his first time, and I’m like, dude, chill! It ain’t rocket science—find a corner, spot the signals, cash in hand. Little known fact: some use code words, like “you got a light?”—sneaky, huh? Surprised me first time I heard it, jaw dropped, hands froze mid-sign!
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Anyway, I grabbed some strawberries and a baguette. Can’t go wrong with that, right? But then, I saw this cute little café on Rue des Écoles. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist a café crème? Not me! So, I plopped down, ready to enjoy my moment. But then, the barista messed up my order. I asked for no sugar, and he gave me a sweet bomb! I was like, “Dude, I’m not trying to get diabetes here!”
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