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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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Then I decided to pop into this little café on Rue des Écoles. The smell of fresh bread hit me like a brick wall. I ordered a café au lait, and it was like liquid happiness. But then, the barista? She was super slow. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a meditation session. I’m here for caffeine! I was about to lose it, but then she smiled, and I was like, “Okay, fine, you win this round.”

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