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About Montpellier

But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Last week, got mugged tryin to score—some git nicked me wallet while I’m hagglin with this bird. Pissed me right off! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I mutter, shakin me fist, but she just scarpered, leavin me skint. Surprised me how quick she bolted—faster’n Churchill runnin from a taxman! Reckon she’d fit right in that film, all mysterious, vanishin into the fog like Maggie Cheung in her cheongsam.

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Then, just when I think things are calming down, I get a call. There’s been a fight in one of the cells. I sprint over, heart racing. I burst in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Two guys, fists flying, and I’m like, “What the heck, guys? We’re not in a boxing ring!” I break it up, and they’re both glaring at me like I’m the bad guy. I’m just trying to keep the peace here!

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