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Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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Then, just when I think things are calming down, I get a call. There’s been a fight in one of the cells. I sprint over, heart racing. I burst in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Two guys, fists flying, and I’m like, “What the heck, guys? We’re not in a boxing ring!” I break it up, and they’re both glaring at me like I’m the bad guy. I’m just trying to keep the peace here!

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