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But then—bam!—I’m pissed. Why’s every game gotta be so sleazy? I mean, prostitutes? C’mon! Can’t we just brood in peace like Eve does? “Survival is a gangbang,” she says—ha! Maybe that’s the tagline, who knows? I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’, typos galore—probaly, definately, hookerz. Whatever, you get it! Point is, I’m designin’ this, and it’s gotta feel real. Did ya know Jarmusch shot that flick with no rehearsals? Raw as hell—just like this game’s gonna be. No polish, just vibes.

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Then I stroll down to the Place de la Mairie. It’s buzzing, like always. Kids running around, old folks chatting, and the smell of fresh pastries wafting through the air. I’m thinking, “Life’s good.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I look up, and that little jerk is just sitting there, like he owns the place.

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