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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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I spot Pierre, and he’s sitting on a bench, munching on a pastry. I’m like, “Dude, you didn’t even save me one?” He just laughs and offers me a bite. I take it, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.”

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