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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout these whores—er, wait, “whore”? Shit, you mean *smokejumpers*, don’t ya? Parachutist firefighters, droppin’ from the sky like bloody madmen! I’m one of ‘em, y’know, jumpin’ into wildfires, axe in hand, balls of steel. Whore’s what I thought you said—hah! Imagine me, pint-sized, leapin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, instead of brothels.

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Man, what a day in Tregunc! Seriously, I’m still buzzin’ from it all. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic.” Little did I know...