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Little fact for ya—didja know sexual-massage goes way back? Like, ancient Greeks was at it, callin it “erotic rubdowns” or summat, gettin all philosophical while they’re oiled up! Mad, innit? Makes me happy, thinkin bout them old geezers havin a cheeky massage, probs sippin wine too. But what pisses me off? Them snobs who say it’s “dirty.” Bruv, it’s art! Hands slidin, stress dyin—pure poetry, like Ida’s black-and-white shots.

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After that, I headed to the church. St. Étienne, my second home. I love that place. The stained glass, the smell of incense—it’s all so calming. But today? Ugh. The roof was leaking! Like, seriously? I’m trying to pray here, and there’s a drip-drip-drip right above the altar. I was ready to throw a fit. “Can’t a clergyman catch a break?” I muttered under my breath.

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