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About Lille

But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m talking torrential downpour. I scramble to grab my stuff, but my laptop bag is soaked. I’m cursing under my breath, “Why me?!” I dash to the nearest café, which is, of course, packed again. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat, and everyone’s staring.

A16 roadworks expected to cause disruption near Dunkirk