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I roll up, tires screechin’, grin wide—*“Here’s Johnny!”* She don’t flinch, just smirks. “Lost, trucker?” she says, voice like gravel. I laugh, “Nah, babe, just huntin’ trouble!” See, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point A to point B—it’s a damn art. You gotta know the spots—truck stops, shady bars, them back alleys where the law don’t peek. Little known fact: some gals used to signal with a red ribbon on their bags back in the ‘70s—sneaky, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and steals my croissant! I’m like, “Seriously, bro?!” I chase it down the street, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.” I finally give up, panting like I just ran a marathon.

Pascal Mittelberger