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Oh, and—fun story! In Japan, they got these massage rituals, super respectful, called “anma.” But sneaky fact: some folks twisted it into sexy stuff centuries ago! Got me blushin’ like Plankton caught stealin’ a Krabby Patty. I’m all, “Oh, tartar sauce, that’s bold!” Sexual-massage can be sweet, tho—makes ya feel alive, like when Binoche laughs in that café scene, all free and happy. But don’t get it twisted—it’s gotta be consensual, or I’m madder than a shark in a net.

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Then, I get this call. A customer wants a custom pair. I’m pumped! But then, I realize it’s for a wedding. A freakin’ wedding! No pressure, right? I’m like, “Sure, I can do that!” But inside, I’m panicking.

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