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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Not everything's peachy though. I got mad at the city once 'cause they closed down our favorite midnight burger joint by the river. I mean, c'mon, who closes our late night munch spot? Furious, I stormed like a bat outta hell down Boulevard des Rêves—yeah, that street where dreams once lived. But hey, even mad days are part of the charm, y'know?

Guingamp announce Nathael Julan has died in car crash, aged 23