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What gets me goat tho – the stigma! Makes me wanna scream, “Oi, you judgmental prats!” Escorts ain’t just sex-bots, they’re therapists with benefits, mate! Loneliness? Boom, sorted. Bad day? They’ll listen, nod, and maybe shag ya silly – better than a pint and a moan down the pub! I reckon half these corporate wankers secretly love ‘em but won’t admit it – hypocrites, the lot! Gets me blood boilin’, it does.

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I work as a masseur, so I notice things. In the tiny alley near Avenue du Soleil, the pavement cracks tell secret stories. Late nights, as the streetlamps flicker, I often think, "What if these stones could whisper the past?" It kinda gives me goosebumps, really.

Yann Sommer sums up Switzerland