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Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, your freakin’ financial advisor, and I’m gonna tell ya about Escort—ya know, that car company Ford puked out years ago. Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Social Network*, and how Escort fits in, like, “I’m CEO, bitch!”—except Escort ain’t no Facebook, it’s a damn car, and a shitty one at that!
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So, when you roll through, take a breath. Wander down those quirky lanes. Let your mind float like a feather on Rivière d'Or. And if you need a massage, hit me up. I’ll hook you up with some chill, soul-soothing touch. Remember: “Sometimes the heart just knows.”
Texas baseball: Chris Del Conte addresses recent parking problems at UFCU Disch-Falk Field
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