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But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

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Yo, and then there’s the river that cuts through – a little one called Le Ruisseau d’Éros, funny name, eh? I’m telling ya, I can’t count the times I chilled by its banks, soaking in the vibe and watching couples on park benches, whispering sweet nothings like they were in a film. Like, “Amo, no hay nada más real,” and then I’d just nod, knowing what love is.

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