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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.

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Wander along Rue de la République, and you'll feel history whispering in your ear—or maybe it's all that heavy fog from the Citadel of Bitche looming overhead, watching you like a silent guardian. I mean, that citadel is so badass, it makes you go "I can't believe my eyes!" It's perched high, sweeping over the valley, and giving this epic view of the town and the little river that trickles by—yeah, that’s the Bief, babyyyy!

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