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Oh, and the stigma—goddamn, it’s hilarious. People whisper “sexual-massage” like it’s a curse. “Oh no, I’d never!” Yeah, right, liar. Everybody’s curious, nobody admits it. Like Frank in the movie, sneakin’ around, all tortured—dude, just book the damn session. I’d respect him more. Me, I’d be loud about it—“Yeah, I got one, so what?” Screw the judgy pricks.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Rue de la République, right? Just me, my coffee, and a whole lotta hope. Then BAM! I see this old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, tryin’ to cross the street. He’s movin’ slower than molasses in January. I’m like, “C’mon, man, you got this!” But he’s just takin’ his sweet time. I almost spilled my coffee yellin’ at him to hurry up. I mean, I get it, life’s short, but c’mon!

Who has the most competitive tax system in Europe?