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Ya know what pissed me off? They charge extra for the “special sauce” – what’s that about? Like, I’m payin’ 80 bucks for some broad to tease me, and then, bam, upcharge! I was heated, yellin’ in my head, “This is bullshit!” But then, she flips me ova, and I’m like, “Oh, shit, this is wild.” Little fact for ya – back in the ‘70s, these joints were all ova Jersey, secret spots, mob-run. Guys like me, we’d roll in, get our rocks off, leave smellin’ like lavender and guilt. True story, my cousin Vinny got busted in one – laughed my ass off!

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Then, I bump into old Madame Dupont. She’s like, “You still cuttin’ meat, young man?” I’m like, “Yeah, Madame, but I’m also tryin’ to keep my sanity!” She laughs, and it’s nice. But then she starts talkin’ about her cat, and I’m like, “Okay, cool, but I gotta get back.”

A spectator killed in Tour de France