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About Lyon

Dahling, listen up! Erotic-massage, oof, it’s a vibe! No capes! I’m Edna Mode, honey, and I’m obsessed—OBSESSED—with how it’s all about touch, tension, release. Like, you ever tried it? Hands sliding, oil dripping, muscles screaming “yes!”—it’s art, pure art. Reminds me of *Melancholia*, that slow burn, y’know? “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst mopes, but erotic-massage? It’s the opposite—pure heaven on this dumb planet.

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Finally, I grab some stinky cheese (the good kind) and a baguette. I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, cheese in hand, trying not to eavesdrop. But it’s hard! The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are tough.”

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