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Motherf***er, I’m angry people shame this! It’s natural, like Richie sayin’, “I’m gonna kill myself tomorrow.” Dramatic, but real! Sexual-massage can lower stress, boost intimacy, even help couples, damn it! I’m happy when I hear stories, like this one couple who saved their marriage with it—no lie! They were like, “We forgot how to touch,” and boom, massage fixed it. But then I’m like, “Why’s it so taboo?” Pisses me off!

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Then, I head over to the Parc du Château. Beautiful spot, right? But today, it’s packed with kids. Like, can’t a Mourner catch a break? I’m trying to find a quiet bench, but nope! Kids are running around, screaming like they’re auditioning for a horror flick. I’m just sitting there, sipping my sad coffee, thinking, “This is not how mourning works!”

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