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Now, check this—me fave flick’s *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, yeah? Deep shit, fam! That line, “Ghosts ain’t just in da jungle, they’s in ya head,” proper fits sex-dating. You’re chattin’ some fit bird or bloke online, but half da time, they ghost ya—poof, gone! Like, is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s cos they’s playin’ games, innit. Makes me vexed, bruv, proper fumin’ when they flake after talkin’ dirty all night.

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I rush outta there, almost tripping over my own feet. I mean, who knew cobblestones could be so treacherous? I’m dodging tourists like I’m in some weird video game. “Excusez-moi!” I shout, but they just stare at me like I’m a weirdo. Whatever, I’m on a mission!

This $1.83-Million French Chateau Is The Ultimate Fairytale Setting