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So, escorts – not the car, ha! – these birds or blokes, they’re pros, yeah? Met this one geezer, swear down, told me ‘e worked escortin’ posh types ‘round London, 80s vibe, all cocaine and big hair! Little known fact, mate – some escorts back then, they’d smuggle cigs on the side, dodgy as fuck! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘em in heels, fag cartons stuffed in their knickers – “Sharon, can ya believe it?!”

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First off, I’m heading down Rue de la République, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m like, “Great start, genius.” But whatever, I brush it off. I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where are those reports?” Ugh, dude, I just got here!

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