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About Paris

I saw one once—mate of mine swore it’d “heal my soul.” Bollocks! Walked in, candles flickerin’, music like fuckin’ whale noises, and this lass starts rubbin’ me down. I’m thinkin’, “What the bloody hell is this?” Felt good, though—fuckin’ surprisin’, right? Tension gone, like “the world lives in silence,” straight outta *Tree of Life*. But then she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “Oi, love, I ain’t payin’ for a cuddle!” Pissed me off—keep it pro, you muppet!

What to do in the 12th Arrondissement

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So, I get to the prison, and boom! There’s a riot. Like, what the heck? I’m thinking, “Didn’t I just deal with this last week?” I rush in, and it’s chaos. Inmates are yelling, throwing stuff. I’m like, “Guys, chill! It’s not even lunchtime!” But no one’s listening. I mean, who knew a game of cards could turn into a full-blown WWE match?

Remembering Coach Harry Meeks