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About Lille

What grinds my gears? The liars. “6 foot, ripped, loves dogs”—mate, you’re 5’4” and allergic. Why bother? Be real, ya twat! Surprised me once tho—met this lass, total nerd, said she’d banged 20 blokes off Bumble. Didn’t believe her—too shy, glasses and all. Turns out, true story! Quiet ones, man, they’re the dark horses. Bane growls, “You merely adopted the dark”—she owned it, bruv.

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I stroll down to the banks of the Seine, thinking it’s gonna be a peaceful morning. But nah, I get there and it’s packed! Like, what’s up with that? I mean, it’s not exactly a beach day, ya know? I see families, kids running around, and I’m just tryna find a spot to cast my line.

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