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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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Then, I get this text from my buddy, Leo. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park? It’s pouring!” But Leo’s persistent. He’s at Parc des Chênes, and apparently, there’s some street art thing happening. I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this.”

Administration announces $5.8 billion in funding to clean up nation’s drinking water, upgrade infrastructure