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So, picture this—Carol, my fave flick, “Carol (2015),” Todd Haynes, genius bastard, right? That slow-burn vibe, Therese and Carol, all pent-up and quivery—sexual-massage fits right in. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese whines, all doe-eyed, and bam, I’m thinkin’, girl, get a rubdown! Loosen that corset of a life! Sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff—it’s power, control, release. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ soldiers down after battles. Bet they got freaky with it too—olive oil and abs, ya know?

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some lady’s hands. I mean, it was like a scene from a movie! She screamed, and I just lost it. I was laughing so hard, I almost dropped my phone in the river.

French actress Leslie Caron Hollywood celebrity