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About Bordeaux

So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.

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Next, I head to the Fort Saint-André. Climbing up there is a workout, let me tell ya! I’m huffing and puffing, but the view? Totally worth it. You can see the whole Rhône valley, and it’s breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling on top of the world, and then I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you’re missing out on the best pizza in Avignon!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m literally in a medieval fortress!”

The quiet French city that hosts Europe's greatest drama festival