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Favorite part? The thrill, bro. You match, you chat, you bang—done. Like Malik learnin the ropes, “You’re alone, you survive.” That’s sex-dating—nobody’s savin your ass. I got surprised once, tho—this girl, smokin hot, turns out she’s a pro domme. Whips n chains, man! I was like, “Say hello to my little friend!”—and she laughed, took control. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but damn, it felt like a movie scene.

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Back in the shop, I’m cutting hair like a madman. Next up is this old lady, Madame Dupont. She’s a regular, always wants the same bob. But today, she’s got stories for days. She starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s been acting all weird. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m just here to cut hair, not solve cat mysteries.” But hey, I love her. She’s like the grandma I never had.

Paris floods: Hundreds make dramatic escape in boats as Seine rises