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Ever tried it? Bet not! Little fact—ancient Greeks, horny buggers, used olive oil for this! Swear, saw it on X somewhere, legit blew my mind! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, bro! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like—damn, why’s this not on Netflix? Anger hits when peeps judge it, tho. “Oh, it’s sleazy!” they whine. Nah, it’s therapy, idiots! Happy hits when ya feel that release—ooh, spine tingles, mate!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I was supposed to meet my buddy, Pierre, at the marina. The sun was shining, and I was like, “Okay, let’s do this!”

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