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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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I’m walking down Avenue de la République, trying to salvage my day. I bump into this dude, totally random. He’s like, “Hey, you’re that promoter, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” He’s super hyped about the art fair. Finally, someone who gets it! We chat, and he tells me about this hidden gem of a gallery on Rue des Écoles. I’m like, “Dude, I gotta check it out!”

Marseille exhibition highlights dozens of naturist paradises