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About Strasbourg

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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I’m chasing them down Rue des Écoles, yelling like a madman. “Get back here, you fluffy idiots!” I swear, they think it’s a game. I’m sweating bullets, and then I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? Faceplant in front of a bunch of tourists. They’re laughing, taking pics. Great. Just what I needed.

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