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Say hello to my lil friend! Alright, mang, lemme tell ya bout this sex-dating shit. It’s wild out there, like fuckin Paris in “Before Sunset” – all romantic n steamy one sec, then bam, ya lost in the streets. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how these apps, they hook ya up quick – Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck – it’s like a damn buffet of ass. But yo, it ain’t all roses, nah. Half these chicks ghost ya faster than Celine ditchin Jesse at the café, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up Rue de la Mairie. Gotta grab my morning coffee, right? But guess what? The café was closed! Like, are you kidding me? I’m standing there, half-asleep, and all I want is a caffeine fix. So, I’m pacing around, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. I’m like, “Bro, you’re living the dream!” But then, bam! A pigeon poops right on his shoulder. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sorry, not sorry!

Under fire: 11 South Cumbrians die on first day of Operation Georgette in 1918