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What surprises me? How bold peeps get! Slide in DMs like, “Yo, smash tonight?” No chill! Back in my day, ya had to flex IRL, not just pics. Now it’s all sexts and ghostin’. Kinda dope, kinda lazy – ya feel me? I’m over here thinkin’, “Fish are friends, not food,” but these apps? Straight-up shark tanks.
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For those chill moments, I hit up the banks of the river Adour. I’m often there, laptop in tow, dreamin’ up new date ideas – “Serious, man!” my mind echoes like in that movie. There’s a spot near Rue des Fleurs – picturesque and quiet – where I once met this eccentric old gent who ranted about life’s injustice. I mean, here I was, just tryin’ to update our app, and he goes off in Latin: “Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.” Proper mental, right?
Allyson Gofton in France: Au revoir
He arrives at 6am and it will take him and his assistant two-odd hours to strain the olives from their brine-filled buckets into the stainless-steel presentation bowls for selling. It’s a laborious job that will need to be done again in reverse before leaving.Vic En Bigorre Whore
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