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And get this—some escorts got CODENAMES. Like spies! “Call me Sapphire,” they say, all mysterious. I’d be “Sponge-a-licious,” duh! Adds a lil’ pizzazz, keeps it fun. “I’m trying to figure out what I do,” Celine says in *Before Sunset*. Escorts prolly feel that too—figurin’ it out, one gig at a time. Deep, huh?

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Next thing I know, I’m chasing this dog down Rue de la Loire. I’m sprinting, heart racing, and I’m like, “This is NOT in my job description!” I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet. It’s a scene straight outta a comedy. I finally catch up, and the dog’s just sitting there, tongue out, like it’s just had the best day ever. I’m outta breath, but I can’t help but laugh.

French police destroy more than 1 million fake luxury items