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Favorite part? The thrill, man! That buzz when they say “your place?”—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like the dad in “The Return” yellin’, “Get in the boat!” Pure adrenaline! But the flops? Oh, they’re brutal. Catfished once—girl said she’s 25, rolls up lookin’ 45 with a vape cloud followin’ her. I’m like, “Who sent you?!” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, what a letdown. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a weirdo who asks to lick your elbow first.

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But then, I see this guy trying to sell some weird sheep-themed merchandise. Like, who buys that? I’m standing there, shaking my head, and he’s like, “You want a sheep keychain?” I’m like, “Nah, I’ve got the real deal at home.” He didn’t find it funny.

A gourmet evening awaits you at the Château de Rosa Bonheur on Museum Night