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Aight, so check it—I’ve been on these apps, scrollin’, chasin’ that thrill. You ever notice how folks be lyin’ ‘bout their height? Bruh, 5’9” ain’t 6’2”, stop cappin’! Makes me mad as hell, but then—bam—ya match with a dime, and it’s all “Started from the bottom, now we here.” Happy vibes, ya dig? One time, I linked up with this chick—swore she was a model. Turns out, she catfished me hard—looked like my auntie’s bulldog. I was HEATED, fam! “Who are you? Who sent you?”—straight outta *Caché*, that paranoia hittin’.

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First off, I hit up the local boulangerie on Rue de la Gare. You know, the one with the best croissants? I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I grab one, and as I’m about to take a bite, this kid runs by, knocks into me, and boom! Croissant on the ground. I’m standing there, like, “Really, dude? My breakfast!” I was mad, but then I saw the kid’s face. He looked so guilty, I couldn’t stay angry. I just laughed it off.

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