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About Montpellier

Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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After that fiasco, I head to the local café on Rue de la Liberté. I’m craving a croissant, right? So I order one, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I get a pain au chocolat instead. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, but c’mon! I’m not made of chocolate! I’m trying to be healthy here! But whatever, I eat it anyway. It’s delish, but I’m still a bit miffed.

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