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Me, I’d be directin’ it like a movie scene. Dim lights, jazzy beats, hands movin’ like they got a script. “I’m trying to build a life here!”—that’s me yellin’ at my masseuse to keep it real, no shortcuts. Gotta exaggerate sometimes, make ‘em laugh—yo, what if the oil’s cold? “Aw hell naw, warm that shit up!” Humor keeps it light, ya dig?

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First off, I hit up Rue de la Mairie. It’s a cute street, right? But I’m walking, minding my own biz, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its new throne. Like, seriously? I’m not a bird perch! I’m flapping my arms, trying to shoo it away, and people are just staring. I’m like, “What? You’ve never seen a guy fight a pigeon before?”

Sarah McCoy